


Maybe Tomorrow

by DeeNuke



Category: 19 Days, 19天, 19天 - Old先 | 19 Days - Old Xian
Genre: 19 days - Freeform, 19天 - Freeform, BL, Fluff, He Cheng - Freeform, He Tian/Mo Guan Shan - Freeform, He tian - Freeform, Love, M/M, Manhwa, Mo Guan Shan, Mo Guan Shan - Character - Freeform, Nightmare, One Shot, Pre-Relationship, Romance, School Life, Short One Shot, Tianshan - Freeform, boylove, hetian - Freeform, mo - Freeform, old xian, old先, one day, puppy, 兄弟, 贺天 - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-29
Updated: 2021-01-29
Packaged: 2021-03-15 08:47:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29061582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeeNuke/pseuds/DeeNuke
Summary: Mo spends the night over at He Tian's, but Tian has his usual nightmares.
Relationships: He Tian & Mo Guanshan (19 Days), He Tian / Mo Guan Shan - Relationship, He Tian/Mo Guan Shan, He Tian/Mo Guanshan (19 Days), TianShan
Kudos: 179





	Maybe Tomorrow

He Tian could not remember the last time he had felt so defeated, so lost, even hopeless as though life itself was draining from his body, like a broken pot that was losing water. He was frozen in place, unable to move, simply staring, eyes wide open in shock, at the small mound of freshly dug earth. His brother had killed the pup, the dog that he had saved from the river just days ago and now, instead of the yapping critter there was a tombstone, just as tiny, to match the grave. Clumsily written words were hastily scratched into the surface of the stone, but rather than then dog’s name, something else was written on it, ‘Mo Guan Shan’. 

For a moment, Tian could not understand their meaning, but then a wave of fear washed over him with such strength that he felt his body shudder. He looked back at the grave, but it was not small anymore, instead now it could fit a human body. Panic and then anger swirled in his stomach. What was this? What sort of sick joke was this? He turned and looked around him, but there was no one there but him. The last words he had heard from his brother, He Cheng, were something along the lines of _‘I had to’_ and _‘it is better this way’_ and then the bastard had left him there to wallow in his pain. How was this better? He Cheng had killed his friend? No, to him, Mo was now more than a friend... so that's why Cheng had killed him? Because he was not allowed to feel anything for anyone? Did he need to be like Cheng? Strong, cold and calculated.

Tian's body shuddered once more and now he could feel warm tears burning his cheeks and stinging his eyes. Seconds later his vision got blurry, hands starting to shake and the only sound he heard was his own scream.

Gasping, Tian opened his eyes and looked around, but instead of the green gardens of his uncle’s home and the mound of earth where Mo had been buried, he saw his own room. It looked larger now in the night’s silence and clad in the darkness of the midnight hours. Sparse furniture was dotted around the room, unopened boxes in a corner, a couch not far from his large bed, the TV and a black armchair pushed far away, into another corner. The large windows let the moonlight in, gently bathing the chamber in its cold light. Sniffing, Tian sighed and blinked, trying to focus his vision, but there were still tears in his eyes. 

_‘Another nightmare’,_ he thought and sighed heavily, taking in a deep breath. Oddly, his chest was hurting as though he had been stabbed, so he bitterly swore under his breath as though that would make the pain go away. He wanted to move, wipe his eyes, but suddenly realised someone was holding his wrists. Suddenly awake and aware of his surroundings, he grunted annoyed, trying to focus his eyes. Repeatedly blinking, he finally understood he was in no danger and his body relaxed instantly. Mo’s spiky head and frame were hovering over his bed, his long fingers wrapped tightly around He Tian’s wrists, but once their eyes met the grip softened. 

“Mo…?” Tian’s voice cracked and heard the comforting _‘mhm’,_ coming from him. 

“You had a nightmare…,” Mo said softly, tiredly, sleep still in his eyes, but didn’t move away from him.

Listening as though he wanted to make sure he was not dreaming, Tian remained silent. He turned his head a little and looked around the room, trying to find something that would tell him he was still asleep, but the room was just as he had left it the day before… with one small difference, Mo was now there with him, not in the other room, sleeping on the couch.

“Why… are you here?” Tian asked, his voice rough from being unused.

“I heard you scream…,” Mo replied, his voice quiet. He didn’t exactly know what to do nor what to say, but he could not bring himself to jokingly scold Tian for waking him up. It was not the first time Tian would wake up in the middle of the night, screaming because he had had a bad dream, and if Mo was to be honest, he knew exactly how nightmares felt, how messed up they made one feel and how exhausted and drained they left you. Right now, it was enough for Mo to see the pained look on Tian’s face to know it was not the place nor time to be an asshole about it. It was odd, though, odd to see such a frightened Tian, but it happened sometimes when nightmares came, Tian would run, unable to fight. Eyes on him, Mo remained silent, wondering if this time, too, his nightmares were related to the same thing that had been haunting him since childhood.

“It’s the dog, isn’t it?” Mo suddenly asked without even realising. He knew what he had said when Tian shifted uncomfortably, wanting to pull away from him as though he was now ashamed. Without thinking, Mo let go of Tian’s wrist and instead reached out, his hand cupping his cheek. “Shhhh…,” he softly hushed him and gently pulled him back, “don’t run away…,” he sighed softly. 

“You think it’s stupid…,” Tian tried to force a smile, shifting again, still wanting to pull away.

“Did I say that?” Mo answered and smiled softly at him, gently pulling him back. “If it hurts, it hurts…,” he added and sighed once more as though he was tired of Tian’s stubbornness. Was it the same for He Tian, too? In those moments when he would try to help Mo, when he would feel like breaking and not even know how to ask for help, rejecting the smallest of touches from him, was Tian facing the same stubbornness as he was facing now? Too proud to admit he was hurt and that he would rather have him near than be alone.

With yet another sigh, Mo pushed the thought from his mind. He tilted his head to the side, his amber-coloured eyes remaining fixed on Tian. He really looked defeated, and once again, without thinking, Mo moved his hand slightly, his thumb softly brushing over Tian’s eye, gently wiping his tears away. “What happened this time?” he asked and sat down on the floor, not taking his eyes off Tian. He only let go of his hand to be able to hold his head instead, cupping his cheeks lightly in the process.

Hearing the question, He Tian remained silent. His mouth parted a little, in shock maybe, his heart skipping a beat then hammering in his chest so hard that for a moment he thought Mo could hear it, too. He swallowed hard, unable to blink or move, then moments later he averted his eyes. Once again, he wanted to pull away, but Mo’s hands did not let go of him and instead, he made him look back at him. 

How different Mo was now, soft and kind, and so damn gentle that it made him feel even more at loss. The nightmare scared him even more now. What if he was going to lose him? What if Mo would one day decide he had enough of his antics, or crazy family and wanted to part from him? Then what? He got so used to have him around, so used to see him, hear him scream at him, then see him smile, or look so content when eating something he liked. Pout like a child when his food was not appreciated, and scratch and bite like a wild cat if something he held dear was taken from him.

“What happened this time?” Mo repeated the question, making Tian blink and refocus his eyes and thoughts. He held Mo’s gaze for a bit, feeling his thumbs on his cheeks, drying his tears once again. 

Fine! He’ll give up then… He didn’t want to be alone anyway, so closing his eyes, Tian remained silent for a bit as though he was trying to remember the nightmare. Instead, he breathed in, deeply. _'Mo’s scent'_ , he thought, that cheap shower gel he used mixed with an equally cheap detergent, supposedly jasmine scented, but it was the kind you could taste the undertone of plastic on your tongue when you smelled it. But damn, how comforting that perfume had become to Tian. He turned his head a little, burying his cheek in Mo’s hand and inhaled deeply. He remained still and finally his heart felt lighter… Mo was there, his ‘Little Mo’ had not abandoned him.

He shifted slowly as though his entire body was hurting and his hands grasped Mo’s wrist, fingers tightly curling around it. 

“He Tian…,” Mo suddenly spoke again, but this time his hand caressed the side of He Tian’s exposed neck, going further up, fingers gently running through his black hair. “Don’t look at me if you don't want to, just talk to me…,” he continued to speak softly as he started to play with his hair. “Weren’t you the one who told me?” Mo said and sighed, “in the future don't try to shoulder everything by yourself…,” he repeated He Tian’s words back to him.

A soft pang of pain gripped at Tian’s heart and for a moment he seemed to shrink in Mo’s hands. His fingers grasped his wrist tighter and he let out a shuddering breather. How they mercilessly teased and chased each other all day long and when the night came, when their darkness haunted them and showed its fangs, how desperately they ran into each other’s arms, seeking comfort. 

No, lies! He was the one asking for that, he was the one asking everything from Mo, his time, his affection, his attention and Mo asked nothing of him… and yet he was there. _‘When there is distance between people, sometimes you can’t help but want to pull closer, because, inside your heart, you are hoping for an answer from the other one’_ , that’s what he had told himself so many times now, since Mo had so forcibly crashed into his life. What answer did he want from Mo? What else could he claim from him? 

“Tell me…,” Mo insisted and finally He Tian nodded lightly. 

“It was the dog, alright,” He Tian finally admitted, his voice slightly shaky. “and… it was not the dog…,” he continued, hearing a small, confused sound coming from Mo. “I was not a kid, but myself now and I was looking at that little grave my brother dug for the poor beast…,” he continued, talking slowly, tiredly. “He said it was for the best, but…,” He Tian swallowed hard, his heart starting to beat faster. “But it wasn’t, because the grave was not the dog’s…,” he briefly stopped and turned his face towards Mo’s hand again as though he was trying to hide. “It was your grave, Mo…,” he finally said, shifting in bed, wanting to pull away from him again. “It was your grave…,” he repeated, his words muffled and a soft shudder ran through him.

Remaining still, Mo swallowed hard, unable to speak for a moment. But then a smile curved his lips and he leaned in a little closer, his hand once again running through He Tian’s hair, gently ruffling it. 

“It was just a dream, you idiot…,” he said and lightly chuckled. “See…,” he took his hand away and made Tian look at him, “unfortunately for you, I’m here…,” he said and felt like slapping the back of Tian’s head, but then quickly decided against it.

There was silence as though Tian had never seen Mo before. He suddenly frowned and a small grunt came from him, “Don't even think about going anywhere!” Tian gritted his teeth as though that threat would solve the fear in his heart. “Nothing is allowed to happen to you…,” he added and letting go of Mo’s hand, he reached out and grabbed him by the t-shirt, pulling him closer. “Hear me?”

Eyes on Tian, Mo tilted his head back a little, then finally nodded, softly chuckling, “I'm so bothered by you, Tian…,” he said sighing annoyed, but still smiling.

“Mo! I’m not joking, you dumbass!” He Tian insisted, “Promise me!” he shook him a little, enough for Mo to place one hand on his and patted them gently as though to calm him down a little, but also to somehow show him to take his hands off him.

“And where would I go?” Mo asked and smiled a little, then lowered his eyes as though those words had made him realise something, too. Yes, where would he go? He Tian should have been his greatest enemy, but no, the rich bastard saw through all his darkness and weakness and still stayed and still came back running to him over and over again. As for him, instead of running away, he kept going back to him. God forbid He Tian was in distress, _‘his business was his business now, too’_.

“Just promise me!” He Tian asked one more time, his nose scrunching a little, impatiently waiting for the answer he wanted to hear.

Blinking as though confused, Mo felt like laughing, but instead nodded lightly before replying, “Alright…,” he sighed, “I promise…,” he finally added and felt He Tian soften his grip, ultimately letting go of him. He watched him lie back down, but he still looked tense, so nudging his chin, he sniffed, “Now move over…,” he said and grabbed a pillow from behind Tian, then climbed into bed, next to him. “I’m sleeping here tonight,” he announced as though it had not been obvious enough.

Watching him, He Tian suddenly smiled happily, quickly shifting on the bed, making space for Mo. Though, the moment the redhead was lying next to him, he wrapped his long arms around him, pulled him against him, moulding his lean body against his. What a hurricane Mo had been. A trouble maker, a school bully from a lower class with an imprisoned father and a struggling mother. Always short of money and bad tempered, Mo was the school outcast more than anything else… So very different from him and yet, somehow, they had found each other; or maybe they were still looking for each other, trying to fully find themselves.

“What are you doing?” Mo muttered, but feeling that embrace, he sighed defeated, melting in He Tian’s arms.

“What does it look like?” He Tian silently chuckled, but only held him closer, tighter. “Don’t be an idiot…”

“Watch your mouth, chicken-dick,” Mo mumbled as though annoyed, while his arm wrapped around He Tian’s waist, fingers splayed on his back, lazily resting between his shoulder blades. Was it always going to be like this for them? A soothing word one moment, a tight embrace, and an insult the next instant as thought neither of them were ready to accept that maybe something good could happen if they would only let it happen, if their egos would not get the best of them.

With another sigh, Mo leaned his chin against Tian’s shoulder, then closed his eyes. He remained still and silent, feeling fingers running through his short hair, Tian’s warm breath against his neck. He knew that they were going to wake up the next morning and pretend that Tian had not had a bad dream, they would insult each other one way or another, and the moment one of them would threaten to leave, the other would panic and do something stupid only to keep them around.

With that thought in mind, Mo sighed again. Most probably, he was going to be the one to wake up first and sneak out of Tian’s arms and room, while panicking why his heart was beating faster when he was around him, not wanting to admit to himself anything he was feeling. But what would happen if he would stay? Open his eyes in the morning and have Tian still wrapped around him? 

He was not going to find out, not that day… 

Maybe tomorrow…


End file.
